Let me start off this post by saying I’ve just finished two days as the only member of my team at work, and that itself has depleted my resources. But the irritations I’m feeling run deeper and longer than that.
There are certain things that are inalienable truths when it comes to life in a tech savvy internet world. One of which is nothing stays a secret for long. Sadly that’s the way of it. If it appears somewhere online it’s going to end up somehow in the public realm. It’s one of the reasons that I’ve thought about deleting my social media accounts, but the fact is, there will still be a trail of me somewhere, that someone somehow will be able to get hold of. And quite frankly if they can get hold of that they may as well know how I’m currently feeling about the state of privacy. Which by the way is why some things are written in emails to one or two people, text messages and other more private means of communication rather than publicly broadcast. When a friend sends me/says something confidentially, I respect that confidentiality and it goes no further. There are a few people I can trust in the same way and still there are some things that are locked in my mind that will never be shared with anyone. I wouldn’t share them with God if asked to (yes I know, moot point if you believe many of the theocratic views on God, but you get the point).
Another truth of the internet is a level of anonymity, one that allows people to hide behind usernames and accounts and stops them from being truly discovered. It’s something we all choose to take advantage of. My name on here is scribblenubbin, after all. But there’s a difference is the way we choose to use that anonymity. There are people out there who use it to do as I do, share parts of our lives and engage with the wider world. But there are also those who use it to hide behind in order to bully, hurt and destroy others. One of my friends told me today how she’s been attacked for posting her point of view and it broke me. The names she’s been called, the phrases hurled against her. None of them are true. I told her as much. Attacking someone by going for their insecurities is cruel in the world outside the internet. Doing it online adds another level of malicious intent and is, quite frankly, abhorrent.
A truth that is neither solely internet based nor offline based, is that of not always knowing the people you thought you did. That one’s been playing in my mind a lot lately. But it’s not something I can go into in a public forum. All I can say is that sometimes we’re left wondering if we ever truly know a person. And personally, I sometimes wonder if I even know myself.